


Find Me In The Shallows

by astrid (orphan_account)



Category: Sala Samobójców | Suicide Room (2011)
Genre: Angst, Gen, M/M, Self-Harm, Suicide, a tag just popped up that said "angst with a happy ending", anyways this sucks lmao, but not really, i wish i could use that tag, im so sor r y, its one sided so i mean, sorry friends, thats quite sad, there's kind of aleks / dominik romance ??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-29
Updated: 2015-01-29
Packaged: 2018-03-09 13:48:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3252092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/astrid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I would make a summary but it doesn't have much of a plot other than it's sad. It's all just really sad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Find Me In The Shallows

**Author's Note:**

> enjoy!! woo

     “Get up,” Dominik demanded as he shook Aleks awake, “we have to go.” There was a slight pause before Dominik heard a mumble almost inaudible, “go where?” “We have school Aleks.” “Oh.” Dominik sighed before walking over to Aleks’ closet and pulling out a jacket and pair of jeans to make things go quicker. Turning around, Dominik saw him sitting on his bed, his legs hanging over the side. “Dom, what time is it?” He opened his mouth to answer but nothing came out. All he could focus on was the curve of his torso and the way ‘Dom’ sounded in Aleks morning voice.

     His mind drifted to the way his name sounded being moaned from Aleks lips before being hit with a pillow, “I said what time is it?” “Oh. Uh, eight. We have to leave in ten.” He watched as his best friend walked over and snatched the clothes from his hands before slipping them on. “I’ll just be in the car so. Yeah. Hurry up,” Dominik tried getting out before he uncontrollably got a boner. It wouldn’t be his fault, he’s an eighteen year old boy who happens to want to fuck his best friend. But still. He didn’t need that right now so he slipped out of Aleks room, down the stairs, and out to his car.

* * *

 

     “Do you see her ass?” Aleks asked gesturing to the girl across the street. “Which one?” “Yoga pants.” “Oh. Yeah, sure. It’s nice,” Dominik tried not to stutter out. Talking about female body parts in front of his friends who presume he’s straight made him extremely nervous considering he ~~prefers~~ greatly appreciates dick. But not just any dick, no, he’s picky. He wants Aleks dick. He wants a dick nearly impossible to receive. It’s a tough life for Dominik.

     Aleks let out a small laugh, “what, you don’t like a nice ass?” Dominik could feel his heart speed up, “why do you think that? Of course I like a nice ass. Nice ass is nice...-ass. Nice ass is nice ass I mean- yeah. All ass is nice.” Aleks stared at him a little before trying to act like that wasn’t fucking weird, “Um yeah. Asses are great.”

If Dominik was Aleks right now, he would punch himself.

* * *

 

     He felt a tear roll down his left cheek as he made another cut, this time a little deeper. His wrist was becoming numb with the constant razor digging into it. He bit down on his sweater collar, trying not to scream. He didn’t want to cut himself but it cleared his head. For the few minutes while blood is gushing out and down his wrist, he didn’t have to think about how much hatred he had for himself.

     He was thankful for everything he had; his house, education, friends. He was lucky to say the least but he still disliked the person he was. Who likes people with the same body parts? What kind of person falls in love with their best friend? He was a poor excuse of a man, and definitely an embarrassment to his family. He doesn’t deserve what he has and he feels like shit about it. It seems he’s fallen into this cycle he can’t get out of. Cutting is sick, depression is sick, and Dominik is sick.

* * *

 

     He was sitting at his desk when he heard a knock on his bedroom door. Assuming it was the nanny, he yelled for them to come in without turning around. “Hey,” he heard Aleks voice. He turned around seeing his friend standing there with a bouquet of roses. Not taking his eyes of the roses, “um hi.” “These- um I got these for you so,” he extended out his arm and lets out a nervous laugh, “here you go.” Dominik was frozen. He couldn’t get up to take the roses from Aleks grip and before he knew it, he was being pulled up to a kiss. A nice, long kiss. The type he’s been dreaming of for nearly a year. His hands were shaking and his mind went mad, too many thoughts rushing around.

     Before he knew it, Aleks’ hands were drifting to the hem of his pants. “Dom,” he whispered, “can you do something for me.” It was more a demand than question, but Dominik still nodded his head hesitantly to answer him. “Can you um,” he glanced down to his bulge, “you know.” There was a strange look behind Aleks eyes. “Okay,” Dominic doesn’t think his voice has ever come out smaller. Before he knew it he was on his knees.

* * *

 

     “Dominik!” A women’s voice called out followed by three loud knocks. He sat up slowly and walked over to the door seeing his nanny standing there, “yes?” “Is your friend still here,” she questioned trying to look past Dominik into his room. “No, left a few hours ago.” “Oh. He was only here briefly then. Dinner will be ready in 5, be down on time,” and she walked off.

     He got up and walked over to his computer, scrolling through Facebook. He was surprised to see he was tagged in a video Aleks had posted an hour earlier. He clicked play and saw a black screen before hearing the words that made his heart drop; “can you do something for me.” He couldn’t breathe. It was so audible, you could hear everything from start to finish. His breathing was quick as hot tears poured down his cheeks.

     He put the back of his hand up to his mouth to muffle the loud cries escaping his body. His chest hurt, his head hurt. Everything fucking hurt. He rubbed his face a few times before standing and pacing around his room. He tried to calm down and convince himself it would be okay. No one will believe this happened, they’re all going to think it’s a joke.

     Walking back over to where his laptop was, he scrolled through the comments. One by one, he felt his heart being crushed. They believed it, they all fucking believed it. And they were laughing at him. They were making fun of him because he trusted his best friend and made a stupid mistake. His lungs felt like they were going to give up on him. The way he heaved for air was making him nauseous.

     He picked himself up again and silenced his cries long enough to make it to the bathroom. He couldn’t feel his body, everything was numb. Through the intense shaking he somehow opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out his father’s prescription for his high blood pressure. Dominik’s mind was clouded and he couldn’t think straight. Without thinking, he took handful and handful of pills. Everything felt like it was the end of the world, and now, maybe, it really is. Cutting is sick, depression is sick, suicide is sick, and Dominik _was_ sick.

               

**Author's Note:**

> lord forgive me for i have sinned


End file.
